Being honest

I have been telling myself for years that I am fine just the way I am. I gained 50 pounds while I was pregnant with Bullfrog due to steroid shots I took for eczema. I was told that it may be extremely difficult to get it off. So, I was okay with my weight staying around. Sure, I couldn't keep up with the kids and I am exhausted a lot ... but it really wasn't my fault that I put on the weight ... right?

WRONG

It is time that I frickin' get serious and stop lying to myself. Stop listening to those who are telling me that I look "fine" and I should be happy with who I am.

I am not saying that I do not like who I am ... well ... I am a little bit. I am currently at a whopping 258 pounds. The heaviest I have been was 269 when I was about to pop with Turtle. You have NO idea how carefully I watched my diet during my last pregnancy because I was NOT going to break 270.

Let me back WAY up and take you guys on a little journey ... to see what I see and my acknowledgement of where I am today.

I was not always a big girl ... in fact, I was pretty gosh darn thin until high school. I biked everywhere and played. I got into an accident in 1994 and so began my life of excuses. I messed up my knee real bad and was not able to run or play soccer without it giving out. I didn't change the way I ate though!

I began to gain weight and by the time I graduated high school, I was 200 pounds. I got the desire to start losing weight and began running. I entered the St. Patrick's Day 5K in 2000, weighing 180. I worked out a lot and was beginning to feel great. I also had 2 knee surgeries performed between 1997 and 2000.

When I met Jeremy, I was bouncing between 180 and 200 pounds. However ... I told myself that I was fat. I could only see myself as a person in size 16 that desired to be in a size 6 or 8. Crazy, I know. But that is how I was. Then .... I got pregnant. I barely put on weight with ANY of my girls and with Bullfrog it was crazy. While I know that it was due to steroid shot and possible extremely late onset of gestational diabetes, it did not change the fact that I became a slug after he was born.

Between 2002 and 2004 ... I went from 200 pounds to 250 pounds. I stayed at 250 pounds for a LONG time. Then, I steadily gained until I went out into the work force. Started at PetSmart and knocked off a good 20 pounds while working there. It didn't stay off though ... after quitting, I had a miscarriage and then jumped to where I am today, 260. Even after two babies and losing more than my pregnancy weight gain with the last!

My diet consisted of whatever the heck I wanted, energy drinks, and soda. After several starts and stops with weight loss plans and ideas ... I am putting a stop to it. I am going to get serious. I have serious goals and a reward system in place. I am going to share them with you.

Stats:

• Current weight - 258
• Goal weight - 135
• Ideal weight range - 115 to 154

Goals:

• Reach 200 pounds by my 35th birthday (Oct 23, 2014)
• Reach my goal weight by my 13th anniversary (May 25, 2015)
• Start walking with my husband
• Workout 4x a week
• Consume 8 c of water a day ... and work my way up to 1/2 my body weight in water
• Soda only once in a blue moon

I am currently using MyFitnessPal, Earndit, MapMyFitness, and Endomondo for tracking weight loss and exercises. My favorite weight loss programs are Blogilates and Lauren Fitz.