It's been rough

You ever have those days where you don't want to talk to people because you have absolutely nothing nice to say? Yup, it has been one of those weeks. I have had one of those weeks where almost everything either annoys me or I am just not "not feeling it."

However, with it being Mother's Day, I am pulling out of my funk long enough to write a post.

In May of 2002, I became a wife and learned I would be a mother only 7 weeks later. A pregnancy during the first year of marriage is one way to see how strong your marriage will be. We learned very early that we could lean on each other to push through the tough times. I became a mother on February 28, 2003. Peanut took FOREVER to enter the world and there were talks of possible c-sections. She came out on her own schedule at 10:01pm and has been the face of a million expressions ever since.

We discovered in November of 2002 that we were expecting again. We were scared and unsure what to do. We lost the child only three weeks later, but we realized that we were definitely called to have more than one child. We decided to start trying in early 2003 for another child.

My labor with Bullfrog was extremely difficult and I couldn't bring myself to even think about pregnancy or deliver for several years. When he was four, we started trying to have a child again. We were where we wanted to be financially and really enjoying life. We were blessed a pregnancy finally in the beginning of 2010. Jeremy and I could not have been happier. However, our happiness was dashed when I suffered a miscarriage in March of 2010, at 12 weeks. We found out the child had died around 9 weeks of age. We had to go through the pain of a natural miscarriage since our insurance would not cover a medicinal one. It didn't break our hopes. We restarted trying and became pregnant in late June 2010.

Monkey joined our family on April 7, 2011. Her childhood was plagued with difficulty with weight gain. We decided that our family was complete and began to settle down. However, God had other plans for us. I got real sick in late March 2012 and we were pretty sure I was pregnant. It took a LONG time for the pregnancy tests to tell us what we already knew. An unplanned pregnancy, and one that threw my entire life for a loop (dealing with PPD, financial strain, and pregnancy), I was worried how our family would cope. I remained faithful, even with the trials we went through after August of 2012, and in December (a week after my due date), I would deliver my final child.

Every Mother's Day has brought a time to reflect on my life and how much I have grown. I have been a parent for just over 11 years, but I have learned a lot. I am now preparing to enter the life of a mom of a teenager and I am not sure I am ready for it. However, just as I was not sure I was ready to be a parent, I have faith that the Lord will guide me through.

I have some of the BEST friends to help me along the way, and a husband who is my rock. With faith, hope, and love ... I will continue to parent my children to the best of my ability.

Happy Mother's Day to all those who are parents of children, parents of fur babies, parents who have lost a child, and women who long to have a child of their own. You are all loved and thought of this day.