A - Adolescents

Being a parent of adolescents can be one of the most trying times since toddler-hood. The first suggestion I would make is to visit them when they are sleeping so you can remember why you still love them.

Adolescents actually begins BEFORE the teenage years! It starts around age 9. With that said, I have TWO of them in my house. The first stage is sometimes the most painful. I remember my children talking to me about EVERYTHING and they have already started to stop that. While they both still love their bonding time, they are both starting to ask for more "personal" time. Allowing them to read or just veg in their room. This is new. I am used to them wanting to run everywhere and it is hard for me to let them spend time on their own.

We are slowing giving them more freedom with staying home alone for short periods. Preparing for the next stage of development which happens around the age of 13. True teenagers begin to live a double life. They want time with their family, but hanging out with their friends is more important. They also begin to get interested in the other gender as they go into puberty (SO not ready for that yet).

If you have not talked to your child about sex, dating, driving, employment, etc, then by the third stage of adolescence, it may be too late. Around the age of 16, all of the above may begin. For our family, we will be teaching our children about abstinence and safe sex. While that seems contradictory, we would rather them make mistakes that will not stay with them for the rest of their life. There are things in our life that we would NEVER change, but if we can prevent it for our children, then that is the direction we will take. It is the PARENT'S duty (not the school or other adult figures) to teach the child the dangers of taking risks. Let them know that you will be there to support and love them, but they will need to take responsibility for decisions they make.

Luckily, the stage of adolescence ends when the child starts college. This is the next hardest part for parents. As much as I am ready for this stage while my children are in the first stage ... I am sure I will NOT be ready when it becomes a reality. That is because while I will still be their parent, I will not be in charge of their life or have any say over what they do. I will simply be a mentor and a friend.

I hope that what I do through the first three stages will help my children remain close when they start the last stage. I truly love my children and want nothing more than to see them grow and blossom! What are some things you are experiencing with your adolescent child? How are you dealing with them?

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